Bitter Maple Leaf fan calls in phone threat, April 14-08
Still reeling from the news that his beloved Leafs had not made the play-offs, Larry "Call Me Dougie" Livesay, is under suspicion for calling in a bomb threat that came close to causing an ugly stampede at the Bell Centre this past Saturday.
"We received the call about eight turdy" commented police spokesperson Sergeant Jacques Bilodeau of the Surete de Quebec. "A male voice on da other h'end of da line said he was, and I quote 'ere - sick an' tire of the frigging Habby Tants winnin all the times and he was going to do something about it. I'm going to bomb dat place"
The male caller apparently threatened to bomb the Centre before the start of the third period. But legal counsel for Mr. Livesay beg to differ as to the exact nature of their clients' comments. When reached in Toronto, lawyers for Mr. Livesay had this to say:
"First and foremost, Mr. Livesay was nowhere near the Bell Centre on Saturday night. In fact he was watching the game on his big screen in the comfort of his rec room " said Oliver Wendell Holmes Swanson, counsel for Livesay.
But what did he say?
"He said bombed, that's for sure" continued Swanson."Listen, my client is a known band wagoneer. He'll go for any team that's winning. He also likes to have a few on a Saturday night. He was merely trying to get tickets for this week's game in Montreal"
His exact words Mr. Swanson?
"He said, man, am I bombed, but I sure as hell would like to be at the Bell Centre tonight, man would I set it on fire. You habs are the best, better than the friggin Leafs. I wonder if I could purchase some tickets"
That's it?
"Thats it" said Swanson "They're making a mountain out of a mole hill here. Perhaps it was the language gap, and maybe my client slurred his words. Maybe it was a bad connection, but my client never threatened to bomb the centre."
Sergeant Bilodeau was not convinced.
"He's a friggin liar, we got da tapes, sacrifice, and he's gonna pay" said an angry Sergeant Bilodeau. "Those friggin Leaf fans do this every time we get in the play-offs. We're goin' extradite him that's for sure, even if I have to drive my Monte Carlo down dere to pick em up. He better not try and hide out."
Mr. Livesay, who scored 3 in last week's TNH cup opener just wants the whole thing to go away.
"Maybe I'll just stick with the team I started with" said Livesay
A tough proposition for any Leaf fan. We'll be following this one closely.
Last chance for Lee? April 7-2008
After suffering a heartbreaking loss in last year’s play-offs, Team Red Captain, Gord “Bowling Boy” Lee is determined not to let it happen again.
“I’m ready to lead this squad to the championship”
But what squad will he lead? The recent spate of mysterious ailments and no-shows has plagued his team for the latter part of the season. When I asked Lee about the rash of absenteeism he seemed eager to change the subject.
“My guys are going to be there, don’t worry. They know how badly I want a piece of Christen.”
Lee has been diagnosed “terminally bitter” after being beaten at the draft table by Captain Christen in October 2006. Christen continued the pummeling, in the play-offs, defeating Team Lee, 25-18 in 2007’s total goal championship.
“He’s not going to dupe me again. I’m ready to play”
But is the rest of his team? Lee has a tough task in front of him and his Red squad. Team Christen seems to be coming together at the right time.
As I watched the final game of the regular season last week (a three on three debacle marked by a absenteeism so far unmatched in TNH history) I was very impressed with the play of the “Oakville Boys” line: rookies Scott Driscoll and Victor Trudel, and veteran “One Move Boy” Livesay.
Can these guys carry the chemistry, speed and passion into the play-offs? This scribe says yes.
When you add Breakaway Boy Christen and veteran Goon Boy Velagic to the mix, Team White could well have that unbeatable combination of grit and scoring. Team Lee had better beware. Only question remains on the blue line where Ed “La Gros Tete” Chassé is not getting any younger, and Jim Pearce has been plagued by various “lower body injuries” and retirement rumours.
Will veteran defenseman Harp show up to take up the slack?
“Depends on the colour of his mood ring” responded a less than hopeful Chassé. “And whether or not the Habs call him up as their designated “out of town”* fan. I’m not keeping my fingers crossed”
As for Team Red, they will have to rely on Bugden, Woolley and Lewis far too much and that’s not a good thing. One can only hope that Gord can set a fire under his brother Eugene and get him to “show up”. But do you really need the Lee’s to re-unite in the dressing room and set off a whole other round of indiscretions? I say why the hell not!
If Team Red has one thing in their favour, it has to be the strong defensive play of former Glamour Boy Paul Swanson this year and the emergence of Michael “Kohner the Loner” as a playmaker. Both Kohn and Swanson have been bright lights in a rather dim season.
Should be a good one. Lets hope for a good turnout. Play starts tomorrow night. I’m saying Lee by three**
* Harp has the critical task of leading the Hab fan contingent in Toronto. He is waiting anxiously for the call from the Montreal squad to bring his passionate boosterism to the Bell Canada centre. So far there are no games on Tuesday Night.
** And not just because it rhymes